


House Rules

by cephalopod_groupie



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Established Relationship, Frottage, Living Together, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 23:46:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30113868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cephalopod_groupie/pseuds/cephalopod_groupie
Summary: Newt and Hermann are content and healthy living together and enjoy each other’s company in a variety of ways. Mildly kinky but nothing too outlandish.
Relationships: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb
Kudos: 8
Collections: And They Have Sex By The Way: An 18+ Newt/Hermann Fanzine





	House Rules

“All I’m saying, Newton, is that house rules are — .”

“Made to be broken. No, _destroyed_. I mean,” Newt, who was wearing a Godzilla tee and glow in the dark zombie boxers, laughed. “We annihilated any of the house rules you made up when we moved in.”

“They were rules that we _agreed_ on.” Hermann adjusted his glasses. He was wrapped up in a very snuggly looking grey cardigan and a deep blue button-down. 

“Don’t be so miffed.” 

Hermann returned to a printed PDF copy of The International Journal of Mathematics. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy how they broke the rules but he did wish they would keep a vague sense of order about the place. Living with Newton was certainly no guarantee for peace and quiet. He returned to Jun Wang’s article “The Neumann problem for complex special Lagrangian equations with critical phase” fully expecting to be interrupted. Newt shuffled around the kitchen and returned with a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream. There was a fork in it. Hermann looked up. Newt stopped moving and frowned a little. 

“Are we gonna argue whether or not eating ice-cream with a fork is morally wrong, again?” 

“I didn’t exactly say it was ‘morally wrong’, I just think it’s proper to eat ice cream with a spoon.” 

“I get that, but digging into rock hard ice cream with prongs is more effective than using a blunt spoon,” Newt said, excavating the frozen treat for some chocolate chips. 

“Tines.” 

“What?” 

“Tines. They aren’t prongs, they’re tines.” 

“Oh my God, dude! Did last night loosen you up at all?” 

Hermann couldn’t help but smirk. 

“I should have known it was going to be a long night when you pointed to a new sexual position you found on the internet and said, ‘looks impossible; let’s try it’.” 

Newt chuckled and shook his head, looking lovingly across the kitchen table. 

“What can I say dude, I was inspired.” Newt shrugged. “You said you want porn to be more erudite so I was showing you it didn’t have to be.”

“I didn’t say erudite, I said tasteful.”

“Like, more vanilla?” Newt flat-lounged the fork.

“I suppose,” Hermann said after swallowing hard. 

“Dude, I wanna spend more time with your inner freaky.”

“I don’t have an inner freaky.” He turned the page and looked down, fighting a smile. His cheeks turned ever so slightly pink. 

“Just a little bit?” Newt poked his tongue experimentally with the tines.

“Would you be terribly upset if I wasn’t at all freaky?” 

“Of course not.” Newt dug into the carton, smiling himself. 

“I wouldn’t want to disappoint you.”

“You never disappoint me,” Newt said with utter sincerity. “And besides, I’ve met your inner freaky.” 

“When, precisely?”

“Oh, approximately four times since we moved in,” Newt said through another cold forkful of ice cream. 

Hermann looked over his glasses. 

“Would you kindly elucidate?” 

“That time in the bathroom?” Newt raised his eyebrows significantly.   
“Oh.”

_**Deep Ear** _

You should not put q-tips in your ears. Says so on the box. An ear swab can push wax further into the ear and even pierce your eardrum. Dr. Newton Six-Degrees Geiszler knew this. But damn, it felt good. That cursed Vagus nerve would be the death of him. He was wrapped in a towel, gently swabbing his right ear. Letting his eyelids drop, he moaned softly. 

“Oh shit,” Newt whispered to himself. “I hope Hermann didn’t hear that.” 

Hermann was right outside the door. He had paused to catch a glimpse of his husband in the buff and heard the moan loud and clear. His mouth dropped open. “Newton is aroused by cleaning his ears?” And then a more concerning thought entered his mind. 

“Newton!” He said, bursting into the bathroom, giving Newt a proverbial coronary. “You mustn’t use ear swabs!”

“Jesus!”

“You’re a biologist! You should know better.”

“Dude, it’s fine. I’m super careful; I don’t even stick it in all the way.” 

“Well,” Hermann conceded. “It looked as though you were enjoying,” he swallowed, “what I can only describe as deep penetration.”

“OK, couple things,” Newt said, raising a hand. “Firstly, the swab was not ‘deeply’ penetrating my ear, I was just cleaning it out. And second of all, if you’re implying I was getting off on cleaning my ears…you’re totally right. OK, yes, I admit, it makes me a little stimulated. You got a problem with that?” 

Hermann had become somewhat mesmerized by Newton’s towel, which was now tented in the front. He could barely hear himself say ‘no’ over the sound of his own pulse pounding in his ears. 

“Do you want fries with that plate of horny?” 

“Oh, I, um, it’s rather steamy in here, the heat, do forgive me.” 

“Hermann,” Newt chuckled low and guttural, which did not help Hermann’s predicament. “We’re married; it’s not like you have to pretend that you’re not dying to fuck me.” 

Newton returned to the sink, caressing the cold, damp marble countertop and looking back over his shoulder at Hermann and biting his bottom lip. Hermann watched the beads of water and sweat drip down Newt’s back into the towel at the top of his plump little buttocks. He approached cautiously, his breathing focused and heavy, silent like a stalking panther. He traced a finger up Newton’s back and the latter shivered. Hermann surged forward, taking both of Newton’s biceps in his hands and kissing up the back of his neck. Newt tilted his head back.

“Stick your finger in my ear.” 

Ordinarily, Hermann would have protested, repeating how unsanitary the request was, but Newt’s voice was so heavy with want that he was compelled to acquiesce. Gently, he put his left fingertip into Newt’s corresponding ear, careful not to go any further than just teasing the opening of the man’s external auditory canal. Newton, eyes shut, mouth agape, whimpered. 

“You wanna go to bed, dude?” 

“Forget the bed, let’s do it right here,” Hermann breathed. 

“Oh fuck.” 

Hermann pressed up against his husband. Still teasing the man’s ear, he leant his cane against the wall and reached down to unbuckle his own pants with his free hand, letting them fall with a clunk to his bony ankles. He rubbed his own growing erection against Newton’s towel; it was soft enough not to hurt but coarse enough to get the friction he needed. He felt the outline of Newt’s cleft. The biologist gasped. 

“Oh that’s hot.” 

Newton gripped the wet surface and thrusted into his towel in a deliciously slow motion. Hermann swirled his finger around the entrance of Newt’s ear. Newton whined loudly. 

“And you say my ears are sensitive,” Hermann whispered, working Newt’s ear and squeezing the man’s hip. They rocked together with painful slowness as Newt became a quivering mass of desire, his tattoos seemed to glitter from the beads of sweat. Hermann kissed him between his shoulder blades. The heady steam from the shower still lingered in the air. They picked up the pace, becoming wilder with every snap of their hips. It was rough and too desperate to be coordinated. 

“Almost there,” Newt panted. 

“Good boy.” 

“Yup,” Newt grunted, jackhammering into the sink cabinet and coming hard into the towel. He blissfully collapsed forward. His face stuck to the countertop as Hermann continued to dry-hump him. 

“Keep on going, my dude.” 

Wool, muggy air, and sweat was not a good combination but this didn’t seem to deter Hermann from consummating his passion. He rutted quickly, throwing his head back like a baying wolf. Hermann uttered what might have been words but came out as ggggnnnnnnng as he held onto Newt’s hips until he came. Newt smiled feeling the heat pool between his butt cheeks as Hermann orgasmed silently in his usual manner. 

“That was amazing,” Newt laughed. “Who knew my ear thing was gonna make you hot.” He helped Hermann up and made sure the man’s muscles weren’t seizing up. Hermann stood calmly poised and beautifully disheveled with his cane, looking majestic despite the fact that his trousers were at his ankles. 

“Dude, you had your underpants on this whole time?!” 

“Yes, I wanted friction, not chafing.” 

“Come ‘ere ya big lug.”

* * *

“Alright, that was your kink not mine. I just participated.” Hermann reached for his mug of tea. 

“You put your finger in my ear. I asked you to do it and you did it. I met Dr. Gottlieb’s nasty twin.” 

“It wasn’t that nasty. Your ear was clean as you’d just taken a shower.”

“So you like nasty but it has to be clean?”

“No no, I don’t want to be nasty either, I was merely indulging your ‘kink’ as you would say and it wasn’t too unhygienic and so I conceded.” 

“Complicated way to say you’re into kinky stuff.”

“Well,” Hermann sighed. “It wasn’t as messy as our little kitchen incident."

“You make that sound like a bad thing!” Newt said, scandalized. 

“Cleaning up was not as enjoyable as…well.” 

Newton waggled his eyebrows. It was all his fault and he was very proud of the fact. 

  
_**Pound Cake** _

Hermann unlocked the door, pulled the key out as he muttered to himself about his day, and turned around. He uncharacteristically dropped his tote on the floor as he caught sight of Newton in the kitchen. The funky little scientist was wearing a very small white apron with frilly edges and a sheer layer of tiny white polka dots, trimmed with thin red ribbon interwoven around the edges and tied off in teeny red bows on the hips and pockets. It was tied in the back by a larger white bow. Newton’s fuzzy buttocks were completely exposed. 

“Oh good, you’re home!” Newt said as if he wasn’t baking while nearly stark naked. The apron was barely long enough to hide his dick and Newt’s thick, luscious thighs were on tantalizing exhibition. His colorful tattoos were on full display, and his modestly beefy arms were glistening with sweat. Hermann swallowed thickly. 

“Newton! This is terribly, I mean….heavens, terribly un-unhygienic!” He stammered, turning away like some Austenian heroine. 

“Oh my God, did I just melt your brain?” 

“I…I must admit that I cannot deny your…the, the enticement of this situation,” Hermann acknowledged while walking away to hang his blazer on the coat tree. 

“Dude, please come back here, I have been waiting for this all day.” 

Hermann sighed. Flour was sprinkled everywhere. Ingredients that might not have even made it into the finished product covered every available countertop. 

“Well, what have you made? Apart from a mess of the kitchen?”

Newt grinned and Hermann couldn’t hide his softening expression. 

“Ok, so, apparently me baking and being horny go hand in hand. I don’t wanna psychoanalyze that. I just thought to myself, ‘I gotta make some sort of bread or loaf cake’ and you were gone and then I thought I might do some sexy baking so you had two nice things to come home to.”

“That was…oddly thoughtful.” Hermann ventured closer to see the end result. 

“Lemme feed you a piece!” Newt had cut a slice into little squares; he picked one up and offered it to Hermann. It was still a little warm and soft and heavy on his tongue. It was plain yet rich. 

“It’s very good,” Hermann said quietly as his eyes wandered down his husband’s bare chest. 

“Oh,” Newt fake gasped, “looks like I’ve got some flour on my thigh. I better wipe it off.” He caressed his leg and dragged his hand slowly up his thigh, rucking up the edge of the apron so that the tip of his penis peeped out. He was fully hard. Hermann inhaled sharply and exhaled shakily. 

“Go on, take it.” 

Tentatively, Hermann took him in hand, savoring the feeling of the man’s heavy cock in his palm. Lust flooded his tired brain. He dropped his cane and gripped a cheek of Newt’s bare bottom in his hand. 

Newt chuckled and held Hermann’s bowed head in both hands.   
“Take me,” Hermann whispered.

Newt reached back to untie the bow. 

“No, leave it on.”

“Aw shit, bud.” Newt kissed him, the taste of sampled cake lingered on both their entwined tongues. Suddenly Newt reached behind Hermann and pushed bowls and spoons and a bag of flour out of the way. Hermann let out a whimpering gasp. Short work was made of his belt buckle and his trousers were unceremoniously pulled off over his shoes. Together they managed to get Hermann up on the counter. Hermann seemed oblivious to the flour and smushed butter that soiled his sweater vest. Mindful of the man’s discomfort, Newt hoisted Hermann’s legs up over his shoulders as he reached down to massage his entrance. Hermann’s pulse raced harder with every minute of entrancing circular motions. The ruffled edge of the apron ghosted his balls. 

“Please,” Hermann said through gritted teeth. 

Newt wasted no time in pressing himself into the tight ring, softened by his delicate rubbing and slicked by his own precum. Newt swore as he pushed him onto the counter. Hermann’s head was already tilted back in ecstasy. The scientist-cum-baker rocked slowly at first, enjoying the beautiful sinking feeling of being sheathed in his lover. Flour and sugar stuck to Hermann’s bum and the small of his back. Their touches became more desperate. Hermann gripped Newt’s biceps roughly, Newt clutched at Hermann’s hips, driving harder and harder and the latter reached down to touch his own stiff cock. Newton felt himself getting close, his mind completely fogging up as he jackhammered with increasing speed. Hermann clenched hard before ejaculating in great strings, like icing, all over Newt’s chest. A few cries of delight from Hermann and Newt was a goner, thrusting through his own orgasm. Hermann was getting, as Newton would say, creamed. 

“Oh fuck yeah. You’re my little pound cake,” Newt whispered hoarsely as he grasped the edge of the countertop. Hermann groaned in pleasure and frustration, his eyes still closed. 

“Am I given to understand,” he panted, “that you made baked goods expressly to utter the words ‘pound cake’ in a suggestive manner?” 

“Uh, yeah?! And to wear this apron.”

Hermann sighed and reached up to running his fingers through Newt’s sweaty hair. Newton slumped down, utterly spent and thoroughly pleased with himself. 

“Oh, my cum’s dripping out, let me push it back inside you.”

Hermann well nigh swooned. 

“You’re like a cream filled donut.”

“How obscene.” 

“You loved it.” 

* * *

“Nice and naughty,” Newt said, nodding at how successful that day had been. 

“That was rather satisfying,” Hermann sighed contentedly. 

“Any more complaints from neighbors?”

“No, I would have told you.” Hermann returned to the article, the perturbed expression returning. 

“Of course.” Newt shrugged. “I mean, it was only that one time, anyway.” 

Hermann looked up with his eyes only, giving Newt a dangerous glance. 

“So we’re just gonna stick to that one time the neighbors complained. Never to be repeated. Absolutely.” Internally, Newt knew they’d have to do it again sometime. It was just too hot. 

  
_**No Window Pane, No Gain** _

Sometimes Newt just said things. Ideas flew out of his mouth and the least surprised was Hermann, even though he pretended to be shocked every time. He didn’t hate it. Ok, sometimes he totally hated it; they both knew this. But Hermann also kind of loved it. Newt was like Hermann’s id, honing in on Hermann’s every untapped desire like some sort of heat-seeking missile. 

“You wanna fuck me against the window?” 

So much for a quiet afternoon at home. What was going to be an uninterrupted few hours of paper grading was now most certainly going to be a few hours of paper grading sawn in half by a rambunctious sexploit. Hermann appeared to stop breathing, looking far into the imaginary distance. 

“Any thoughts on that?” Newt was lying on the armchair with his back where his thighs should be and the top of his head in the direction of the floor. 

“Did anything prompt this desire?” 

“Nothin’. Just looking at the window and remembering that I never fucked against a window before.”

“I see.” 

“So? You wanna?” 

“Now?” 

“Why not?” 

“Well, we haven’t exactly begun the process of making love.”

“It’s called foreplay, dude. You would know.”

“I just…we don’t typically initiate a sexual scenario apropos of nothing.” 

“Well, we can’t exactly plan it all the time. Like, not everything is an experiment; science just happens.” 

“Making love against a window is science?” 

“Sure! Kinda, we’re specimens. A mating pair.” Newt laughed. “Like little birds or something.” 

“Small feathered beasts don’t have windows. Nor do they experiment with love-making.”

“We don’t know that for sure, dude.” Newt strained to pull himself up to a more reasonable sitting possession. “Anyway, we’re getting off topic.” 

“I will join you on the chair in a moment.” 

“Yeah?!” 

Newt’s face was so bright and happy. Hermann didn’t even have to turn around to see the smile. He shuffled his papers, making sure they were properly organized and parallel to the desk’s edge within a millimeter of exactitude. He set his pen down gently and walked over to his husband. Newt made a come hither gesture and Hermann proceeded to sit on the smaller man’s lap. Even as it became more familiar, making out with Newton never lost its zing. Sparks still flew like a campfire in Autumn. Newt asked for permission while toying with the hem of the mathematics professor’s vintage sweater vest. Hermann purred the affirmative. Newt slid his hands up Hermann’s bony back. 

“Oo, Newton, your hands are warm. That feels nice,” Hermann uttered as he smooched the biologist. In an instant, Newt scooped the taller man up in his arms, startled noises and all, picked up the cane that was leaning against the arm of the chair, and made for the window with cackles of glee. 

“You silly boy.” 

How Hermann went from perturbed to adorable faster than a DeLorean was endlessly fascinating to Newt. The phenomenon also worked in reverse. Newt swiftly handed Hermann his cane and began stripping down to his underwear. He dug a travel-sized bottle of lube out of his trouser pocket. 

“Newton! The shades are up!” 

“Well, yeah you can’t have kinky sex against a window without the shades being up,” Newt said, peeling himself out of his tight plum-colored jeans.

“It could be dangerous. Is the window strong enough?” 

“You mean, is the window strong enough to withstand your manly thrusts?” He flung a Doc Marten over his shoulder.

Hermann pinched the bridge of his nose. Newt stood completely nude before him. 

“The force of two grown adults copulating against a window, with or without double glazing, may compromise the strength of the window frame.” 

“Dude, it’s gonna be fine,” Newt said as he started to unbutton Hermann’s shirt. Hermann sighed and rolled his eyes to the ceiling and wrapped his arms around Newt’s waist. 

“Hello, darning,” Hermann said softly as he looked down at Newt. 

‘Hi, baby.” Newt felt his face warming. Every so often Hermann could make him feel a teeny bit shy and lovestruck. Trying to pinpoint their kissing style, Newt decided that it started out like a first date, tentative and gentle, and ended up like a second date kiss, needy and hungry. He wasn’t sure that Hermann realized just how much of a stellar kisser he was. Newt was pretty blissed out already when Hermann started guiding him to the window. Hermann caressed his waist and put a hand on the window frame, gently pushing Newt backward. Their lips parted suddenly and Newt gasped into Hermann’s open mouth. 

“Ha ha. Window. Cold.”

“Sorry, love.” 

“That’s ok, babe,” Newt said, kissing him again. He parted his legs, inviting Hermann to ready him with his beautiful fingers. Looking down, Hermann’s breath was trembling with desire, he discretely licked his palm before drawing his hand up the length of Newton’s cock. He lingered, fingering the corona with the most infuriatingly delicate touches. 

“Please,” Newt said into Hermann’s ear with a shiver. He nibbled the man’s earlobe to seal the deal. 

Hermann reached for the lube bottle on the sill and put some on his fingertips. He teased his husband’s entrance, working in little circles as Newt ran his fingers through his hair and kissed his neck. The top of Newt’s bum was pressed firmly up against the glass. Hermann slowly pressed one finger inside him and Newt emitted a filthy, abandoned little moan. He flailed to hold onto the sill, pushing himself up to give Hermann better access. Hermann grinned at Newton’s neediness and slipped in another finger. Two fingers, pressing deeper, deeper. Hermann ghosted his lover’s prostate and Newt’s dick throbbed. Hermann didn’t even wait for Newton to beg, he pulled his fingers out, ignored Newt’s momentary disappointment, and unbuckled his own trousers. He almost started to masturbate, applied some lube and rubbed himself with a few firm strokes. The sight of Hermann slicking up his own cock was enough to send him over the edge but he held on. Hermann asked Newt if he was ready. One affirmative word and Hermann’s oiled cock met his ingress. Hermann was inside him with a single thrust. He slipped all the way out and fucked him, slow, steady, and hard. Newt called out in a blissful laughing moan. He felt so slippery and full. 

“Oh, oh, fuck me. Fuck me.”

Hermann began to grunt with every thrust and Newton knew that he was getting close. Newt imagined how his own naked back must look being squished against the window as he felt moisture accumulate on the steamed-up glass. Hermann worked quickly to avoid intense leg cramping, his open palm slipping down the pane. Newt reached down for the bottle, nearly dropping it, and lubed himself up. 

“I really hope our neighbors don’t have binoculars,” Newt chuckled, his voice vibrating rhythmically like he was in a moving car on a bumpy road. 

“I almost hope they do,” Hermann growled, his balls thumping against Newt’s bottom. 

“Ooooooo, Hermann.” 

Newt tilted his head back and jacked himself vigorously, working almost double-time to Hermann’s thrusts. Hermann rammed him against the window, steady and even. His grunts turned to a whine and he suddenly stilled, quivering, coming hard inside Newt. Rolling his hips out, Newt hooked a leg around Hermann’s leg and rubbed himself furiously until he painted his own hand with cum. White stings and droplets clung to Hermann’s vest but the man didn’t seem to care; he rested his forehead on the fogged-up window. 

A drowsy minute ticked by and they parted. Newt chuckled as he saw his own ass print on the glass. He put his underpants back on and carried Hermann to the bedroom. The latter was bemused, and smiled softly at him. 

“What are you doing, Newton?”

“A little aftercare for my hubby.” 

Hermann kissed his forehead. 

* * *

Hermann smiled to himself but Newton noticed. 

“Well, I did appreciate the post-coital massage,” Hermann said. They exchanged tender smiles. 

“I know what you don’t appreciate, though,” Newt smirked, playing with the fork. 

“You stealing my underwear?” 

“Yep.” 

“You got your own back, though.” 

“Indeed I did.” 

_**Famous Last Words** _

Newton got out of bed, scratched and stretched. He opened the underwear drawer that was expertly folded by Hermann in the KonMari Method™. He didn’t have a lot of clean underwear left and was just about to take his remaining plain pair when he saw a pair of Hermann’s midway briefs. They were heather grey, and very soft. He imagined them hugging Hermann’s long thighs, caressing the peach-fuzz covered muscles, the Y-front pouch cupping his generous package. Newt sighed dreamily. He blinked and made a decision. Casting a glance into the hall, he made sure Hermann was in the bathroom before taking his own boxers off, putting them in the hamper and grabbing Hermann’s clean pair. Newt slipped them on over his somewhat beefier thighs, uttering “oh yeah,” to himself as the soft fabric caressed his legs and hips. He made an adjustment in the front and walked to the closet mirror. He admired himself for a moment. Fully intending to get dressed he changed his mind again, slipped on a fresh crop tee and walked to the kitchen. When Hermann emerged from the bathroom in his robe and slippers he caught sight of Newt, calmly eating a bowl of cereal. 

“Newt,” he spluttered, waggling his finger. “Those are my underpants!” 

“Want me to get out of them?” Newt said, half serious, putting a thumb under the waistband. 

“No! No, for heaven’s sake.” Hermann gave up and walked back to the bedroom. 

A while later Hermann emerged in all his sinewy elegance wearing a snug Oingo Boingo shirt and some very tight acid washed jeans that left very little to the imagination. Newt was at the sink washing his cereal bowl and looked up. His jaw dropped and he gripped the side of the counter for a moment before sinking to the floor. 

“Newton!” Hermann rushed to Newt’s side. Flat on his back, the man was in a mock-daze. Hermann rolled his eyes. In his best Orson Welles’s voice, Newt wheezed dramatically. 

“Moose…..knuckle….” 

“What? What are you talking about? Get up this instant!” 

Hermann helped the laughing man to his feet.

“Ya know,” Newt chuckled. “Kinda like ‘Rosebud’, my last words are gonna be ‘Moose knuckle’.” 

“To what are you referring?”

“Your bulge is a little…constricted. It looks like a cloven hoof.” 

“Oh, I see,” Hermann glanced down at himself. “Yes, I know. I don’t know how you wear these bloody things.” 

“They’re tighter on you than me, baby,” Newt said, planting a quick smooch on the taller man’s lips. “You made your point. Now take those off and put on your grumpy old man pants.” 

  
_**A Forkful of Ice Cream** _

“All in all, we’ve had a lot of fun in this place,” Newt said, licking the fork again. 

He plopped the fork in the cardboard carton on the table and exhaled. 

“I believe we have christened every room.” Hermann went back to his article. Newt took his hand gently and looked out the window. Eventually Hermann finished reading and gazed out the window as well. Neither of them would have thought a year before that they’d be living in a house together and married. All their playful antics were made all the more special because they cared so deeply for one another. And after a day of teasing and silliness, they had a silent look of understanding that could communicate more than they could ever say. 

“You want some ice cream?” Newt asked, fully expecting Hermann to decline. 

“Well, alright.” 

Newt dug out a forkful of ice cream from the center of the melted blob that was left. He smirked. 

“Blasphemy,” Newt whispered comically. He watched the forkful disappear into Hermann’s mouth, imagining the cold treat melting on his lover’s tongue. Hermann scraped the tines with his teeth as Newt gently removed the fork. 

“It’s very nice.” 

“Can I sit on your lap and feed you some more?” 

“Of course,” Hermann. “Be gentle with me.” His tone was soft and rather amused. 

Newt brought the carton with him and straddled Hermann’s lap, mindful of the man’s legs and hips. He fed him another small forkful. Before Hermann could lick his lips, Newt gave him a yummy smooch which was returned with great enthusiasm. Hermann pulled the man close.

“You…you lusty wench,” Hermann said half in irony, half in earnest, blushing in a most becoming fashion, caressing Newt greedily. Newt took Hermann’s face in both hands for another kiss and stood up abruptly. 

“Newt? Oh!” 

Newt was at Hermann’s feet in an instant, silently asking for permission with raised eyebrows. 

“Oh, go on then,” Hermann said. His thin lips stretched into a wide smile. Newt grinned back, maintaining eye contact while opening the man’s baggy dress pants and peeling back his y-fronts. Hermann was already getting stiff. 

“You gonna tell me how debauched I am?”

Hermann giggled hoarsely. 

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes,” Newt exhaled desperately. 

“You are a little debauched,” Hermann said, touching Newt’s lips. “But I find it charming.”

Newt’s mouth hung open. 

“Aw hell yeah,” Newt said before popping Hermann’s tip in his mouth. He smiled at the gasp and put his tongue to work, licking Hermann’s erection with featherlight touches. He took the tip in his mouth again and sucked in throbbing pulses. 

“No you mustn’t do that, I shall come straight away.”

“Want me to see how long I can do that for?”

“No, no,” Hermann said urgently. “Just do your usual.” 

“I got you.” While Newt wanted to experiment, Hermann’s comfort was more important to him. He wanted to please him. “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it.”

“Precisely.” 

Newt went back to his “usual.” He got into position and rubbed Hermann’s inner thighs. The taller man leaned back a little, anticipating the delight to come. Newton leaned forward and took him in as far as he could, gently slipping up and down his husband’s generous shaft. He pulled off to speak quickly. 

“Tell me how improper this is.” 

“It is most improper,” Hermann said obligingly.

Newt licked Hermann’s penis up one side and down the other. 

“You’re very wicked, Newton.” 

Newton cupped his balls and took him in, sucking hard until he could feel the tip reach his throat. 

“So naughty…” Hermann breathed as he white-knuckled the chair. 

Newt began to bob his head in earnest, his mouth wet and lips red. He gripped the base and swirled his tongue.

“Oh Newton. So licentious, I…” Hermann tried to go on but at that moment Newton sucked very hard, showing no mercy. Hermann’s hand flew to Newton’s head, lacing his fingers in the messy hair. His hips involuntarily twitched and he whined, straining, chasing his pleasure. Newton sucked eagerly. His cheeks were hollow and his face was red. Without warning Hermann bucked upward, and his cock, full to bursting with cum, spent into Newt’s open mouth. 

“Good heavens,” Hermann panted. “That was most agreeable.”

Newt chuckled, wiping his face with the back of his hand. He brought the tissues over to clean them both up. Once Hermann zipped himself up again, Newt sat on his lap for a cuddle. 

“Hermann, kiss the hell out of me. Please.”

One of the things that surprised Newt about Hermann was the latter’s ability to kiss like a horny teenager who studied French kissing in his spare time from a book, like a nerd. Hermann, the ultimate hot dork. Newt broke the kiss to stare into the man’s soulful, deep brown eyes. They always seemed to sparkle back at him. 

“Would you like a turn?” Hermann asked in a sensually jovial manner. 

“Sweet!” Newt jumped up and made an empty space on the kitchen table.

“I…didn’t…alright,” Hermann nodded. “Are you sure the table can take the weight of an adult?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Newt said, sitting on the table, slipping off his boxers. He dipped his finger in the now very melted ice cream and put a tiny glob on the tip of his dick. 

“Lick it. Right there.”

Hermann looked up at Newt and back down at the task before him. Newt’s cock was hard already. The ice cream melted rapidly, dripping down the silken flesh and onto the floor. Hermann swallowed and lapped the sweetness up in one bold lick. Newt leaned back on the table, stretching his arms behind him. 

“Oh yeah, Hermann, you know what I want,” Newt said as he threw his head back. 

Hermann smiled to himself. He took him in hand and pressed his lips to the man’s balls, soft and just a little bit hairy. He gently sucked them both with a kind of reverence, already driving Newton wild. A dribble of ice cream had traveled down to the dip at the base of Newton’s penis. Hermann curved the tip of his tongue to collect the droplet and trace it all the way back up, lingering at the corona. Newt pleaded gently. Hermann took him in like a half-melted ice cream cone, filling his mouth with as much of Newt as he could, licking and sucking with tantalizing enthusiasm. Newt would have to wait for his satisfaction. He felt Hermann’s teeth lightly graze his cock and gasped.   
“Sorry,” Hermann said, immediately returning to suck him, breathing hard. He put a hand on the table to steady himself and gripped Newt’s left thigh with the other. 

“Oh my God, it’s like you’re making out with my dick. Should I be jealous?” 

“It’s your cock, you silly prat.” 

Newton laughed, feeling more delirious by the second as Hermann worked so intently. He reached out for Hermann’s hand and laced their fingers together. Hermann said nothing but squeezed his husband’s hand. He began to work faster with every moan and whine from Newt, his breathing labored and primal. Any trace of ice cream must have been gone, licked away and swallowed by Hermann. He drew him in harder with every suck, barely bobbing his head at all, the sheer force of his lips and mouth pulling and pushing the man’s slick cock in and out. Hermann started to perspire but kept going, knowing that Newt was so close. Newt panted rapidly, thrusting into Hermann’s mouth and throat until he gave a mighty throb.

“Achieving climax at approximately 1300 hours,” Newt quipped before coming hard, keening all the way. “Babe, that was…the best ever oh my God.” 

Hermann didn’t catch all the cum and what he didn’t lick off his own lips he wiped clean with his hankie. Newt got off the table and ran his fingers through his hair. He lowered himself to Hermann’s lap again. 

“Do you think it’s too late to leave a review of the table and say how it can support my weight during a blow job?” 

“Perhaps not, my love.” 

“You know what the best part about living together?” Newt asked after he’d kissed him. 

“Making love without PPDC staff members walking into the lab after hours?”

“Well, that is freakin’ great, but, no, I meant,” Newt buried his face in the crook of Hermann’s neck. 

“What?” Hermann smiled. 

“Don’t laugh, ok.” 

“Of course, I won’t.” 

“Well, my favorite part is watching you shuffle off into the bathroom at night. And then I wait for you to come back to bed and fall asleep next to me.”

Hermann’s eyes welled with tears. 

“Darling.” 

“What’s your favorite part?” 

“Coming back to bed in the night to find you there.” 

Newt hugged Hermann very tightly indeed. 

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to all the contributors, and of course to our lovely organizers [buckgaybarnes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckgaybarnes) and [Ksci_janitor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ksci_janitor/pseuds/Ksci_janitor)!


End file.
